Absurd Beaks and Materials Engineers
My principal question was this: When a toucan tries to fly, why doesn’t he end up planted in the ground like a lawn dart?
And when I thought slightly more seriously about this, I realized that I had several other questions about the toucan as well. How did that beak happen? Why would such a thing evolve and what is it for? If it doesn’t pull him straight toward the ground at thirty-two feet per second squared, how does that engineering work? It clearly has enough strength to take the beating any beak has to take. It must weigh something.
As children, toucans were probably among the first five or so birds we all learned the names of, but I was realizing that I know almost nothing about them. So I am setting out to change that. Who are these beautiful birds with the absurd beaks?
And there is another reason I’m writing this, and it has to do with the fact that I’m a birder. I’m not a great birder, but I am a birder, and birders are an odd lot. I’ll tell you something about us: There is a handful of birds out there which are so iconic that any birder will simply never forget his first sighting. I remember my first bald eagle (Alaska, 1984), my first peregrine falcon (kayaking off Big Sur, 1991) (I got so excited I almost capsized and drowned), and my first flamingo (Celestun, Mexico, 2007).
And Susan and I both saw our first toucan in November of 2007 in a jungle fifteen miles southwest of where I’m sitting right now, and here’s the personal connection: Early next month we’ll be moving to that jungle. That very spot. We were looking at property at the time, and now we’re buying it. Five acres, with an off-grid home. Toucans will be a regular part of our lives.
It’s time to learn something about them.
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The argument about what the beak is for has been going on for about a century and a half, and it’s showing few signs of resolution. The first theory came from The Man himself: Charles Darwin was convinced that the toucan’s beak was for a sexual display. That’s been discredited, but I can see why he went there. Most absurd things you see in nature are about sex. (Most absurd things you see in the human race are too, but that’s off-topic for a Ranger Randy article.) It’s a known phenomenon, and it even has a name: It’s called sexual selection. That’s what they call it when a trait evolves which contributes absolutely no survival value, but does help the organism attract a mate and reproduce more successfully. The example they always use is the tail of the male peacock. But the problem with the toucan’s beak is that both sexes have one, and they’re identical. That almost never happens in courtship display adaptations, especially in birds. Almost always, it’s only the male who gets weird. The female tends to stay subdued in appearance and practical in design, because she has an actual job to do—she has to bear those children and raise them, and she may or may not be a species lucky enough to get any help in that from the male.
The next theory I ran into was that they have those outrageous beaks because they eat fruit. Well, okay, they are fruit eaters (frugivores) but the problem I have with that theory is that the forest is just full of fruit-eating birds who have perfectly ordinary-looking beaks. Orioles come to mind.